My dad has personally picked all of my siblings’ spouses. When I was 20, I had a boyfriend who I believed was the love of my life. I wanted to marry him, but my dad didn’t approve. He didn’t like his family, didn’t like his career aspirations, and didn’t think he was “man enough”. He ended up driving him away. After that, I vowed to myself that I would never marry the man my dad picked for me.

When I met my current husband, my dad hated him at first, which just made me like him more. We’ve been married for close to 2 years, and our relationship is really good. My dad did a complete 180 after we got engaged and he started treating my husband really well. I assumed it was because he realized that no matter what he said or did, I would marry him.

I’m currently staying with my older sister, and she said something that makes me suspect that they both ran a long con on me and everyone but me knew. I was telling her how I was surprised by the fact that my dad really liked my husband and she said, “You’re not that stupid, right? Dad wanted you to marry him from the start.” I told her she was wrong and that my dad didn’t even know my husband until I introduced them, and she gave me a look like I was really dumb. I tried to ask her for more information, but she told me to just forget it.

I get this isn’t much to go on, but I just have a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach right now. I have a good marriage, I’m genuinely happy but I also feel extremely angry now. I go home in two days and I want to confront them both but I don’t know what to say. I also don’t want to cause issues in case it isn’t true and I’m misunderstanding. What do I say?

Advice: Instead of a confrontation, just make it a question. Sometimes it is better to not put someone on the defensive. Explain to your husband the conversation with your sister and how you thought your dad hated him and she didn’t, and just talk it out.