We got married 3 years ago. No kids, a lot of pets. She’s always been outgoing and fun-loving. Recently, she turned into a different person. She doesn’t like leaving the house (she didn’t even stay in this much during the worst of the pandemic). Our house is at the edge of the woods and she won’t even leave to go hiking or kayaking, which she used to do nearly every day. She’s lost weight but not because she’s dieting or working out; she just doesn’t eat that much anymore. She’ll make dinner then take two bites and say she’s full. She doesn’t want anyone coming over to our house anymore, and when I mention people coming over she flat out says no.
Last week, a few of my buddies came over to go fishing. My wife said she wasn’t in the mood to see anyone, so she stayed inside. Fifteen minutes later, I got a call from inside the house; she was crying and couldn’t breathe because they were over, even though we were half a mile away at the lake. I told my friends to leave and went back, and she was shaking like a leaf on the bathroom floor, freaking out.
She doesn’t sleep much anymore; she’s always asleep after me and up before me, and I get up real early. Sometimes she’s jumpy, like she’s on alert for something. I’ve tried to talk to her about it, but she says nothing is wrong and gets upset if I try to push it.
I talked to my wife and said all of the things a lot of you told me to say: how I was just concerned about her, I’d support her, and fight anyone if they hurt her. She didn’t want to talk at first, kinda freaked out, but eventually the story came out. I have a workshop on my property, and my buddies and I use it to build A-frames for people to use as hunting cabins and such. It’s a hike from the house, so before I left, my wife said it was alright if they kept using the shop while I was gone.
One guy came to use my shop and worked late, had a few beers while he was there, and hurt himself, so he walked up to the main house to get a first aid kit, even though there’s one in the shop. She let him in because she’s a nice person, and he ended up getting really handsy with her and forcing himself on her.
Long story short, cutting out all the emotional stuff that happened after, yesterday her and her mother went to the cops to file a report, and a few buddies and I went to deal with him. My wife doesn’t want to go to therapy, but her mother and sister are going to stay with us for a while so she can feel safer when I’m not home.